Email update about my Ramsay Hunt Syndrome to my work colleagues 8.29.19

From:
Sent: Thursday, August 29, 2019 8:55 AM
To:
Subject: Not ready

Dear,

I am so upset to write this email.  I hate Ramsay Hunt Syndrome.  I hate this. 

I can’t come back to work on Tuesday like I had hoped with my whole heart.  I had planned on returning on 9/3.  I was trying so hard to be ready to come back and do my job.  My family was preparing for me to start working again. 

But, Ramsay Hunt is a terrible illness. 

After a few good days, I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in bed with pain.  The pain is so debilitating.  It flattens me and makes tears fall out of my eyes steadily. 

Shingles with nerve damage… SO painful.  I’m so mad I have RHS.  How in the world do I have Shingles in my ear!?!  I don’t understand. 

I’ve been told Shingles is the worse pain ever by many people and health care professionals.

I’ve spent some time this week reading “RHS blogs” and watching “RHS videos” on YouTube.  It’s helpful to hear other people’s stories that are often similar to mine in terms of being diagnosed w/ Bell’s Palsy or an ear infection first and then getting the RHS diagnosis because of the horrible pain.  People talk about the pain being unlike anything they’ve felt before in that it’s unbelievably excruciating.  On the other hand, it was disheartening to listen to the amount of time that people were/are sick with RHS.  Months, years. 

The Neurologist told me, “Be prepared to deal with this for months to years.” 

I also have hypersensitivity in my left ear, which means sounds are unbearable for me because they are so exaggerated.  Thus, noises irritate me greatly. 

A common symptom of RHS too could be hearing loss. 

I’m so scared about when I will really be able to come back to work.  I think of a colleague and how much he loved CSU Global, but he got sick and was unable to return.  I don’t want that to happen to me.  I want to return to CSU Global!  I want to go back to work!!! 

I think the two worse feelings are ‘pain’ and ‘fear.’  I feel both of these every day.  Feeling pain and fear together is awful.  It’s overwhelming to feel pain and fear for such a long time, knowing too it will likely continue.  

Hope is an interesting thing.  It can help us feel positive.  It can also be disappointing when something we hoped for does not happen as soon as we want.

I wish I was better and I could just go back to work on 9/3 and be good to go with confidence. 

I wish this Shingles would go away.  I wish the pain would go away.  I wish my nerves could heal easily and quickly.  I wish my immune system and nervous system were healthy.  I wish this RHS would go away.

I’m so sorry for being a rollercoaster with you about coming back to work and with the ups & downs of this illness.  I truly apologize.  I recognize that this email is rather negative and all I can say is that I am very, very upset w/ this RHS illness and how disrupting it is for my life and for my family.   

Thank you though for listening.  I’m so grateful I can share my experience w/ RHS with you three.  I greatly appreciate you!!!  I miss you all.  Please tell everyone hello for me. 

I wish you a good Labor Day weekend,

Susan